So at my freshman orientation for college, we had a presentation on sexual assault. The lady who spoke was fantastic, and this was her opening PowerPoint slide. I wish I had gotten the rest of it.
Fantastic! But, if you have no-one in the audience that will ever sexually assault someone anyways, then does this still have an affect…?
Just a thought…
*prepares party popper*
*nervously shakes the party popper*
*slowly falls asleep with the party popper*
*has a wonderful night with the party popper*
*gets married to the party popper*
It’s a beautiful evening in February. My wife and I are sitting at the fireplace, when suddenly a terrible image appears on the screen of my computer.
My wife looks at me. As I look in her terrified, cardboard eyes, filled with tears, she takes a deep breath, before saying with her shivering voice “It’s what you’ve always wanted, dear. Do it.” My hands start shaking and a lone tear rolls down my cheek. “I can’t, honey. I’m not like that anymore.” “I will do it.” a small voice behind us says. As I turn around, my eyes cross with my son; our son. “You don’t have to do this, Benedict.” I say, as I hold his hands.
Ignoring what I told him, young Benedict Popper-Are Optional holds my wife’s cardboard body in one hand, and her long, beautiful string in the other. With tears in my eyes, I turn my head away. A loud pop sounds behind me and I watch in terror as I see my wife’s confetti spread across the room.
"It’s what you’ve always wanted, dad…" my son says, putting his small, cardboard hand on my shoulder. "Yes," I say, "but not like this… Never like this…"
what the actual fuck
Dude, are you ok? Do you need us to call someone?
people who think you can’t be sexist towards men
people who think you can’t be racist to white people
people who think you can’t be bigoted towards Christians
people who think you can’t be heterophobic
tumblr bigots who think they’re promoting equality, but are actually just adding to it on different forms of people
I’ve had people beat me up because I was Christian. I’ve also had people get confused and insult me for being straight and monogamous. So yeah, shut up people on tumblr, not all Christians are shoving their religion down your throat, not all straight people think that marriage equality is stupid. Tumblr people, reblog!
mom would you PLEASE JUST INSTALL CHROME
I have seen hell
Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus,
omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii,
omnis congregatio et secta diabolica.
Ergo, draco maledicte.
Ecclesiam tuam securi tibi facias libertate servire,
te rogamus, audi nos.
Did you just exorcise Internet explorer
Anyone else seeing Willy Wonka and Charlie in the glass elevator
Why you do dis?
[On how she got her role on ‘Hugo’] “Basically, I got a call from my agency and they were like “Look, Martin Scorsese is making a movie,” […] they said “We’re only casting local brits because we want the real accent, we want the whole thing,” and I was like “Okay, well. You know, I’ll do a tape and I’ll audition for it.” So I wore a little wig, and I did everything in a british accent, and he loved it. So he flew me and Asa Butterfield— the kid who played Hugo— to New York to do an audition for him, in front of him. So I flew out there, keeping up the act that I was british […] And then as I was leaving — luckily, he was amused — I said in my regular voice, “Bye Marty!” and he was like, “Wait. What? Where’d your accent go?” And I was like…”
ten and rose + reunion hugs
donkey kong get your stupid fucking ape hands off of me touching bananas and shit goddamn i hate you so much i cant even eat you because i get the fucking power of looking like a fucking onion fuck you donkey kong
Did someone say… chocolate?
WHY IS THERE NO RECIPE SOURCE
- Oreo mousse
- Peanut butter cup brownies
- Ice cream ball fondue
- Peanut butter oreo cupcakes
- Brooklyn blackout cake
- Pomegranate and chocolate dessert
You’re welcome ~